Smoke a cigar and cheers with your favorite drink

I have haters who make me feel both suicidal and homicidal right now and cheers to those sick hateful control freaks. Go ahead and make yourself feel like you win and have me beat like you always do. I can't deny how ruined of a woman I feel. A person can only combat the haters and the marks they want to leave on you until you feel a hated fuckbag piece of shit who can never give a shit. I am this rejected. I mean I am this rejected and very a violently and hatefully rejected one. Nobody else will ever want to do anything with me because look at me: I am this ruined and it will hurt you and your reputation to have any involvement with me. You just hung out and talked with the worlds sewage system that only knows shit and piss. .... It's like I will always have someone breathing down the back of my neck in the worst way living to control and outnarc me to death. "Don't you think it should tell you something by now Sarah." "Well gee Sarah, what is the matter with you with having been rejected so much." While it isn't always about my physical appearance, I could particularly point out some people who have had tons of plastic surgery and say "I know you want me to go that person's route," literally suck it, or suck it in one way or another. Some gross relentless control freaks will never be done in wanting to put their dick in my face in the worst way. Yeah Sidney, you really think something of your sharia law with Bree Ann about me having no self esteem, but before I tell you just how right your ignorant fucktard is, I'll contradict you with choke on my self flattery Sidney NARC NARC NARC Sidney NARC. WHEN YOU GET GANGRAPED BY THE REST OF THE WORLD JUST A LITTLE TOO MUCH AND AFTER YOU ALREADY CHEATED ON AND HAD SOME REJECTION OF ME, THE JOKE WAS STILL ON ME THAT I DIDN'T BELIVEVE IN YOU. YOU KNOW YOU WERE BEING MY CUT THROAT NIGGER AND YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER DARED TO KEEP ACTING AND TAKING ME ON AND REFUSING TO LEAVE ME ALONE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A NARC WHO HAS NEVER TAKEN ANY CONSEQUENCE OF YOUR ACTIONS. YOU'D THINK SOME MEN WOULD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE IN WANTING ME TO FEEL HUMILIATED IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER THE TIMES I'VE BEEN FAILED AND GANGED UP ON, HOW IN THE WORLD COULD I HAVE EVER KEPT THINKING THE WORST OF SOME PEOPLE? GEE WHO WAS I EVER TO JUDGE THE DOUBLE STANDARD PREJUDICED GANGBANGERS. I have a couple of guesses who have sold me to you Sidney that you probably have already more than trash talked me with and most likely are using you as their tool to breath down the back of my neck: gee what is wrong with me. there is obviously something wrong with me Jon Stewart, Jim, Justin, and Ashton Kutcher probably are your fellow gangsters and seed rakers and yes I do more than seriously know the seed rakers they are. I might as well be your most said seed raker Sidney with all of the terrible assocations you have. Like a Blood hugging a Cryp is like me hugging you Sidney. We are anything but on the same team AND I HATE YOUR DENIAL FOR WHAT IT IS. IF YOU AREN'T ALREADY SLEEPING WITH ERIN AMONGST THE OTHERS YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH YOU MIGHT AS WELL YOU FUCKTARD. I AM YOUR IGNORED, RUINED SEWAGE SYSTEM THAT ONLY KNOWS SHIT SIDNEY. I'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK TOO MUCH ALREADY AND DON'T YOU DARE KEEP CHALLENGING THE WAY I THINK AND FEEL ABOUT THINGS! WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE ME SIDNEY? SOMEONE WHO DOES KNOW SHIT. DON'T CHALLENGE ME YOU DUMB FOLLOWER OF A FOOL. DUMB FOLLOWER OF A HATEFUL SADISTIC SICK PIMP THAT NEEDS TO BE STRANGLED.

Second Off

There are times I feel outnumbered more than others and I hate when the totalitarian warfare believes they are right when they want to beat me in numbers like my life was always for the world to own... Right now, I am a deeply insulted woman because whether or not I'm being interrogated or seriously provoked with the OJ comment it was a severe, dominant, cut throat comment that made me defenseless and voiceless. When I gave Stacy my first actual laymen term death threat; I know I have the right to defend myself, yet I was denied the right to defend myself. You don't know just how insulting that feels to be subjected to whoever made that comment, and whoever did make the OJ comment against me, I wish for their castration. More cut throat vain murderous "as if" I had any emotional or marital relation or care for Stacy's rabid bitch. Travis, when you get involved with me with my enemies, I wish you would just recognize the serious danger you are to yourself. Travis, I pray you are a sincerely ignorant man whose castration I won't wish for. Men who want to keep challenging me to Stacy I want to castrate. ...... While I hate to be my own rat and explain myself, I have such a serious fantasy of just letting myself die and being shot to death with the most dominate pride while I'm being murdered with someone's sickest and most hateful prejudices. Travis, I see a choice of someone's worst dominate choice of judgment before me, and you just don't understand how it makes me feel knowing how innocent and incomparable I am to Stacy. I choose to fight against my death in vulgar ways where I am still at risk of being a danger to myself. Some summed up stories to make the long story short. While my father was never the same stockholmer as other Stockholm lovers, my father was a gruesome stockholmer. My father never physically touched me but I am his sexually assaulted victim. He was assisted by either Russia or ATK and there are unseen people of "Guantanamo," where I will never have the proof of evidence. But I am my father's and Jon Stewarts Guantanamo victim in the worst extreme way. While Jon was my lover at some times, I had a serious hard time coping and coming to my senses how morbid of a predator he was. Stacy was included in several different incidences of the Guantanamo Stockholm. Stacy was a gang banger with Jon at some point of time and with my father at other times. Stacy has always given herself a Scottish rite and I know she feels she has me beat. I know she thinks she deserves to express dominance over me and have her way with me. I seriously don't know what I ever did to Stacy but I heard a story a long time ago where her supposed military husband had somehow died. It's almost like I could be the reason to his death for Stacy to have such a morbid rapist vain hate against me. He was probably the same psycho Scottish rapist bastard where he was somehow caught in my blindside as being a responsible stalker and sex offender. I could have been the reason he got something very beyond a spanking because he just didn't know any better. I appreciate whoever could have killed for me. This is the price it is to keep me subjected to Stacy. When I'm blind sided, left in the dark, probably in the black market in some ways, could be in a protection agency in some ways, and know there are lots of secrets that I should still never have been subjected to, this is where I can lead myself to. FEARLESSLY. When the worst has happened and I keep getting tested in the worst ways, I might as well say anything. Fearless nerve begets fearless nerve. random tidbit: I hate the "I've got issues song." If Stacy means that one too, that was her next fatal mistake in having no shame over the sick things she's done and her sick comparative obsessions.

First Off: Look after Mitzi for Me

If something were ever to happen to me and I were to die: I want you to make Mitzi understand that I have always loved her and love her very much. You may not have any control or fight over her custody other than this written blog, but while I do not have chosen god parents, I do not want her to go to my mother or father, Katie and David, or John Atchison. I do not want her to go to any relatives in my extended family. I want you to find her loving arms and I want the parents to be Christians. I don't want her to be too spoiled and I want her to be brought up as someone who understands what it means to work for love and respect and knows she deserves to be worked for too. Tell her that her mommy never wanted to purposefully march to death but she did and she had no other choice (if I die). Tell her that there are terrible people in this world and that there were people I would never lose to and that I would understand what would happen if I did. Tell her I knew I deserved a better life and so does she and her and my life are worth fighting for. Tell her that I believed in freedom and hope that she will too. Have the Lee Ann Womack "I hope you dance," song sung for her for me.